Friday Poem – Accident, Maryland

Yes, we really did spend a week in Accident, down the road from Deep Creek Lake. Until recently, I didn’t realize that a slice of Maryland was sandwiched between Pennsylvania and West Virginia. Maryland Map

See if you can spot Accident in the top left corner of this map. I can’t help wondering why there’s such a narrow bit surrounded by other states. Whatever the reason, someone also thought it would be a good idea to bring Highland cows to Accident. We learned a lot about them… and which were the best ice cream flavors at Lakeside Creamery, and how to play our own version of Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me. We had a whole week with our dear friends – 4 adults and 7 children in a rambling house in a beautiful part of the country. I even started this poem while we were there.

Family Vacation
Accident, Maryland

I did not expect cows
beyond the driveway fence
content to take pancakes
and stale baguette
from our hands after breakfast

I did not expect our boy
to navigate waterfalls
so casually, the current
dragging him down
so he could climb again

I did not expect guitar music
and whiskey in the dark
or your hand
slipping into mine
whenever I walked by

A Letter to My Professor

Dear Bob,

You have probably seen this New York Times column already, but I wanted you to know that even 30 years later, when I ask myself Frank Bruni’s question, “What’s the most transformative educational experience you’ve had?” I think of your freshman seminar.

I’ve often tried to describe the mash up of psychology and philosophy you called “Identity, Alienation and Freedom,” but my descriptions never do it justice. Continue reading

New Year’s Eve

The boys in the basement woke up with their own alarm. Sammy and his friends had plans to see “The Hobbit” at 12:15, and despite getting to bed excruciatingly late, they didn’t want to miss the movie.

Six teenagers ate a quick breakfast and got out the door the morning after our almost-annual New Year’s Eve party.

new-years-eve-times-square When the kids were much younger, we staged elaborate early ball drops.

Around 9 p.m. we told them it was already midnight on some obscure island in the Atlantic Ocean, then counted down like Dick Clark in Times Square. Dinner happened in shifts: kids ate early, followed by games, crafts and confetti. After the early Happy New Year they changed into pj’s and settled in for a movie while the adults ate a leisurely meal.

This year was much more laid back. Our potluck featured three types of pasta, but no one complained. Adults took their time with dinner; the last thing our kids needed or wanted was our attention.

Before the guests arrived, Sammy had one important question: “What about the ice cream sundae bar?”

Continue reading

Welcome to Chateau Delicieux

The finger guard is my new favorite kitchen tool; it keeps you from cutting off your fingertips while chopping carrots.

knifeUnfortunately, my fingers are too big for this stroke of genius, which arrived with the child-size chef’s knife and peeler from Opinel.

When your ten-year-old starts debating the relative merits of opening a bakery or a full-service restaurant, you know it’s time to buy him a serious knife. But first, he had to promise to learn to chop onions (which he has since learned to do, wearing swim goggles.)

A few weeks ago, we had a serious talk about the realities of the food world. “You know that you have to love food and business to make it as a restaurant owner, don’t you?” Continue reading

Summer Camp

Day 1, and already I forgot to feed the dog.

That’s what you get for teaching your children to take care of the family pet. When they leave for camp, the poor thing gets ignored.

“Are you going on vacation while the kids are away?” friends and neighbors ask.  “A romantic getaway?”

“Better,” I reply. “I’m going to work as much as possible.” Continue reading

Boys on Bikes

When I pointed out that it was raining, Sammy laughed. He was headed to the library on his bike. Rain? Whatever. He needs more manga comics, and a little drizzle won’t hold him back.

It’s been that kind of summer –- my two boys, out on their own, riding around the neighborhood. Sammy is nearly 13, so he has crossed major thoroughfares on the way to his volunteer job at a preschool day camp, to drum lessons and the library. He’s already plowed through most of the manga in Huntington Woods; at this point he’s branching out to Royal Oak.

The first time Josh left for camp on his own, I jogged by the rec center to make sure his bike was at the rack. I mean, what if I didn’t find out till 4:00 that he hadn’t even made it? The next day, I didn’t check. He is 9, and he looks both ways at the big downhill intersection with the giant wall of shrubbery. I figure he’s as safe as a fourth grader in a safe neighborhood can be.

I feel free, maybe almost as free as they do. I am forever letting them go – one inch at a time, one block at a time, until they leave home for good.

Sammy will return with a sack full of books.  In a few days, he’ll go back out for more.  I’ll make dinner while he’s gone, and while we eat it, he can tell me about his day.

Swings

The problem with being a writing teacher is that sometimes you forget to write.

Or maybe that’s my problem with being a writing teacher. I like to believe my colleagues find time for their poems and essays, carving out precious minutes at 6 a.m. or after everyone else goes to bed.

At 6 a.m. I’m running through my dark neighborhood.  At night, I sleep. In between I work and shop for groceries and make sure everyone gets to music lessons on time. Except for a few lines in my journal before bed, writing moves to the back of the line – behind the dog, behind camp registration forms, behind laundry and doctor appointments and scrubbing tomato sauce off the stove. Continue reading

Doberge Cake

The first cousin I met was Stephen, who scooped a crawfish out of a giant warming tray and held it up to show me: “Just snap off the head,” he said, demonstrating as he spoke. “Peel back the shell, and pop the meat in your mouth.”

I tried one. Then another. Easy.

It was my first visit to New Orleans, my first encounter with my boyfriend’s Southern family, and, at age 26, the first time I really felt like a foreigner. Continue reading

Drum Solo

Last night at Cliff Bell’s in Detroit, I listened to a watercolor emerge on canvas, an oil painting, a collage of color and texture.

gayelynn cliff bells 1-5The drum solo moved forward for minutes … thundering loud then soft as a whisper. It was denim and suede, sandpaper, a still lake at dusk. Pine scent and snow, a dented hubcap, diesel fumes, hands entwined, a woman alone.

I’ve heard this band before – Straight Ahead – but it’s been many years. The drummer, Gayelynn McKinney, is my son’s teacher, a coincidence of time and place, of stumbling into The Lesson Rooms looking for an instructor at an opportune moment.

Two years later, five years after starting to play, he is becoming a musician. I remember that realization as a young adolescent – the emerging awareness that the weekly lesson was a check-in point. It wasn’t the “thing.” The thing was practice, mastery, repeating the pattern over and over until it lived in my breath and fingers. It was line, arc, motion, stillness and surprise.

J, S, M after recitalMy children live in music. They sing and drum and play piano. My daughter dreams of mastering my old guitar – the one I never really learned to play. They know there is a clarinet in the basement and that the piano in the living room came from my second grade teacher. They wear concert t-shirts and memorize lyrics. They sit still, and usually they like what they hear.

Last night I watched a woman live in her music. The room fell away for a moment, and everyone listened.