Mine may be the only dinner table in America where family members engage in heated discussions about both Monty Python and the five paragraph essay on a regular basis. Monty Python? Lots of people have something to say about that. But the essay? Yeah, that’s my family.

Even my sixth grader, who has only written a single five paragraph essay, back in fifth grade, has an opinion on the matter, having heard high school siblings (and me) rail against it for years.

What’s my problem? Let me lay it out for you.

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